Are you a sensitive male leader?

These questions contain items that others may not notice about you, especially if they don’t know you well. But you know it…so be honest and answer truthfully.

Score yourself on these questions:

Here’s how to score yourself: 1 – not at all true. 2 – rarely. 3 – sometimes. 4 – often. 5 – very true.

(There’s only five short questions – make a mental note of your score).

When people that are significant to you spend time with you and focus on your ideas, you feel good.

.

When you buy an item that represents a status symbol to you, this can energize you.

You appreciate it when you feel that another’s respect is genuine.

When others are too abrupt with you, or stand too close to you, it can make you feel uncomfortable.

You often replay conversations in your head, thinking about how you could have said it better.

Guide to scoring:

1 - 5

Either you aren’t sensitive at all, or you need to be more honest with yourself.

6 - 10

Sounds like you could be a little harder on the sensitive people in your life than you might realize.

11 - 15

Your sensitivity can be a real asset as you learn to use it well.

16 - 20

You’re quite a sensitive person and when highly stressed can become embarrassed or evasive.

21 - 25

You are very sensitive, and in stress this can become a liability.

Sensitive Leader Traits

Communication: Strength Behaviour

You may find it easy to speak your mind with your direct reports, customers, and superiors. When time is short, or there is a lot of information to convey, you tell it like it is. You’re open with your opinions, even when it is something the other person doesn’t necessarily want to hear. As a straightforward and matter-of-fact person, you are candid although you present yourself as fairly easy going. You value integrity as an independent thinker who is supportive towards others.

Invisible Needs (what you want from others):

You appreciate it deeply when others are careful to show you appropriate respect. Even in adversarial or difficult conversations, you expect a high degree of respect and approval. Respect for your position and the title that you hold can be very important to you, yet you appreciate it when you feel that other’s respect is genuine. You also like a little more personal space than most. Having others talk to you with appropriate personal distance can be more important to you than others know. The chances are, you really appreciate feedback in a one-on-one setting. Motivated by these, you deeply appreciate it when others show care and concern for your wellbeing.

How stress shows in your communication:

Criticism can hurt more than you try to show. You often feel you are hiding the hurt when you perceive another’s criticism. When people are abrupt with you, it can make you feel uncomfortable, or hurt by their insensitive remarks. You’re impatient with social demands and are willing to concede with others’ direction. When it feels like someone has been too callous or over-critical, your behaviours will start to shift from being open, to withdrawn and cautious. Your trust can decrease and secretly you may be thinking.. “wow..that really hurt.. now I can justify hurting you a little”. These thoughts can get in the way of your interpersonal effectiveness.

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